Am I That Bad?

Today, a guy viewed my online dating profile, and promptly deleted his account. I know this, because when I clicked on his picture in the 'who has looked at your profile' bit, his profile wasn't available. And then his picture disappeared from the 'who has looked at your profile' bit.

I can only assume that he saw my profile, and decided he'd be better off alone. Ah well...

Why are Guys so Confusing?

I had a date! Yay! And it went really well. We chatted for hours, until almost the last tube home, and there was lots of flirting. Lots of hints about seeing each other again. And it ended with a peck on the lips. Hurrah!

Now comes the horrible bit though. In my limited experience, I can say that for me this bit is always horrible. You meet a guy for a first date. And it goes well. And he's lovely (and, in this case, absolutely gorgeous). And you'd really like to see him again. But really you don't know if he wants to see you again. So you wait, maybe exchange a few texts, until one of you plucks up the courage to ask for a second date. Well, that's how it normally goes anyway.

Except for in this case things seem to be going a little bit more weirdly than that.

He texted me the morning after to check I'd got home OK. Definite points to him there! And we had a brief conversation. Then the next morning I took the plunge and asked whether he wants to meet up this week. He said how about today? Round his place? I stalled a bit, thinking it might be a bit soon to go to his place. I mean, I'd only met him once. But then he said we could just eat dinner on his balcony and, given the amazing weather, I thought 'why not'? So I told him I could be in his neighbourhood in a couple of hours. No response. I texted again asking if he wanted me to come over. Nothing. Hours later I texted him to say it looked like he didn't want me to come over after all. He said he just felt guilty for forcing me to come to his. I replied and said that maybe we could meet up next weekend. Aaaand nothing from him.

I'm feeling like I'm getting some serious mixed messages. Does he want to see me or not? Ball's in his court now, so I'm just waiting. Well, not just waiting. I'm messaging other guys on the dating site in the meantime. Maybe I'll find someone a bit more straightforward?

Which Dating Site?

Last night I took the plunge and joined a new dating site. Time to get back in the game! It's actually really good fun, and I'm enjoying looking through all the profiles and sending messages. No replies yet, but it's early days!

I suppose I'm in a good position to review some dating sites now. Last time around I was using Match Affinity and, obviously, it worked pretty well. However, I found that a lot of people on there were... odd. It sounds quite snobby, but I didn't feel that a lot of the people on that site were quite what I was looking for. I also only had three dates in one year, however I'm willing to admit that it may have been my fault for not being proactive enough. I tended to sit around and wait for people to message me, and when I did message people it was mostly using the generic suggested messages that the site provided. I didn't get a very good hit rate with this technique. However, I did appreciate the HUGE questionnaire you had to fill in, as it gave you a really good idea of what each person was like before you messaged them. Even after I'd started dating my ex, I went back and had a look at his profile a couple of times to check whether there was anything in his responses to the questions that might be a deal-breaker.

This time around I'm using Guardian Soulmates. This has been recommended by a friend who is currently in a successful relationship with someone she met on there. It's more expensive than Match Affinity, but it seems to attract a different sort of person, which suits me. I've heard it described as the Waitrose of dating sites, which I think fits it quite well! It doesn't ask quite so many questions, but people's profiles seem to be much longer and more detailed, so that's good. I've also changed my technique to being more proactive and more personal in my messages, so we'll see how it goes!

Wish me luck!

It's been a while...

It's been a while since I last updated this blog. There are two reasons for this.

Reason the first: This is a blog about online dating. Once I'd entered into what could be reasonably called a relationship, I wasn't online dating any more. There weren't any humourous stories about crazies or horrible first dates. There was just a relationship. Nice, but not blog-worthy.

Reason the second: I wasn't comfortable about sharing details about someone else once I knew them well. And intimate details about a relationship aren't necessarily something I want to share with random internet people (lovely as you all are...). So I stopped blogging.

So what's changed, you ask. Why are you back?

I'm back because I am no longer in a relationship. He ended it in the classiest way possible, via text message. Nice, right? It wasn't a total shock, I knew things were getting rocky, and we hadn't seen each other very often, but it still left me in a bit of a mess for a couple of days. Now, though, after a good night's sleep, I can see that he was right to end things. He was NOT right to end things with a text. Do NOT do this, people. It's horrible. But he was right that it wouldn't have ever been a long-term thing. It was fun while it lasted (lots and lots of fun!) but we didn't have enough in common to build a lasting relationship, and as he put it, there was no 'spark'. I'll miss him, probably for a while, because we got on so well, but I'm not pining for him, so it's all good.

And now I can rejoin the fun fun world of online dating! I'm actually quite excited about getting out there again and meeting someone new. I'm going to leave it a few weeks before joining a new dating site, as I think it's important not to get into something on the rebound, and I need to get to a stage where I won't be comparing anyone new to the guy I've just broken up with, but I'll definitely be re-entering the fray before too long.

So stay tuned for my future adventures in the world of online dating!

So much effort! But worth it...

Fourth date was at my place. Lovely. Yay! Except...

His place was pristine and amazing and wonderful and the tidiest place I've ever been in. My place is... not like that. So the day before the date was spent stressing and tidying and cleaning and stressing some more. I didn't want his first impression of my place to be that it was a complete tip! So I managed to get it into a state that was only slightly like a tip before he came round. And it all went rather well, so I guess he didn't mind that I have stuff ALL OVER THE PLACE compared to him. Phew!

Now we're getting to know each other better I don't think I'll feel the need to stress quite so much when (yes! when!) he comes over again. Although this time I'll log out of my facebook so I don't need to spend half my time trying to stop him from changing my status to something wildly inappropriate.

Third Date Lasted 24 Hours...

Heh :-)

Second Date! Second Date!

I went on a second date! Yay! Take THAT, New Year's Resolution!

So, yes. Second date. We went for some food, and saw a film. And it was really lovely. Lots more chatting, finding out more about each other, and liking what we found out. No real flirting to speak of, mind you. But then I'm rubbish at flirting, so I was never going to start down that road until he does. I did get a kiss on the cheek at the end of the evening though!

He's going away for a few weeks now, but he said he'll text me while he's away, so it's looking good for a third date.

In other news, it's weird how many people tell you they're online dating once you tell them you are. It's like everyone has this secret, and they think they're the only one, but once one person opens up it turns out everyone's in the same boat.