Which Dating Site?

Last night I took the plunge and joined a new dating site. Time to get back in the game! It's actually really good fun, and I'm enjoying looking through all the profiles and sending messages. No replies yet, but it's early days!

I suppose I'm in a good position to review some dating sites now. Last time around I was using Match Affinity and, obviously, it worked pretty well. However, I found that a lot of people on there were... odd. It sounds quite snobby, but I didn't feel that a lot of the people on that site were quite what I was looking for. I also only had three dates in one year, however I'm willing to admit that it may have been my fault for not being proactive enough. I tended to sit around and wait for people to message me, and when I did message people it was mostly using the generic suggested messages that the site provided. I didn't get a very good hit rate with this technique. However, I did appreciate the HUGE questionnaire you had to fill in, as it gave you a really good idea of what each person was like before you messaged them. Even after I'd started dating my ex, I went back and had a look at his profile a couple of times to check whether there was anything in his responses to the questions that might be a deal-breaker.

This time around I'm using Guardian Soulmates. This has been recommended by a friend who is currently in a successful relationship with someone she met on there. It's more expensive than Match Affinity, but it seems to attract a different sort of person, which suits me. I've heard it described as the Waitrose of dating sites, which I think fits it quite well! It doesn't ask quite so many questions, but people's profiles seem to be much longer and more detailed, so that's good. I've also changed my technique to being more proactive and more personal in my messages, so we'll see how it goes!

Wish me luck!

It's been a while...

It's been a while since I last updated this blog. There are two reasons for this.

Reason the first: This is a blog about online dating. Once I'd entered into what could be reasonably called a relationship, I wasn't online dating any more. There weren't any humourous stories about crazies or horrible first dates. There was just a relationship. Nice, but not blog-worthy.

Reason the second: I wasn't comfortable about sharing details about someone else once I knew them well. And intimate details about a relationship aren't necessarily something I want to share with random internet people (lovely as you all are...). So I stopped blogging.

So what's changed, you ask. Why are you back?

I'm back because I am no longer in a relationship. He ended it in the classiest way possible, via text message. Nice, right? It wasn't a total shock, I knew things were getting rocky, and we hadn't seen each other very often, but it still left me in a bit of a mess for a couple of days. Now, though, after a good night's sleep, I can see that he was right to end things. He was NOT right to end things with a text. Do NOT do this, people. It's horrible. But he was right that it wouldn't have ever been a long-term thing. It was fun while it lasted (lots and lots of fun!) but we didn't have enough in common to build a lasting relationship, and as he put it, there was no 'spark'. I'll miss him, probably for a while, because we got on so well, but I'm not pining for him, so it's all good.

And now I can rejoin the fun fun world of online dating! I'm actually quite excited about getting out there again and meeting someone new. I'm going to leave it a few weeks before joining a new dating site, as I think it's important not to get into something on the rebound, and I need to get to a stage where I won't be comparing anyone new to the guy I've just broken up with, but I'll definitely be re-entering the fray before too long.

So stay tuned for my future adventures in the world of online dating!

So much effort! But worth it...

Fourth date was at my place. Lovely. Yay! Except...

His place was pristine and amazing and wonderful and the tidiest place I've ever been in. My place is... not like that. So the day before the date was spent stressing and tidying and cleaning and stressing some more. I didn't want his first impression of my place to be that it was a complete tip! So I managed to get it into a state that was only slightly like a tip before he came round. And it all went rather well, so I guess he didn't mind that I have stuff ALL OVER THE PLACE compared to him. Phew!

Now we're getting to know each other better I don't think I'll feel the need to stress quite so much when (yes! when!) he comes over again. Although this time I'll log out of my facebook so I don't need to spend half my time trying to stop him from changing my status to something wildly inappropriate.

Third Date Lasted 24 Hours...

Heh :-)

Second Date! Second Date!

I went on a second date! Yay! Take THAT, New Year's Resolution!

So, yes. Second date. We went for some food, and saw a film. And it was really lovely. Lots more chatting, finding out more about each other, and liking what we found out. No real flirting to speak of, mind you. But then I'm rubbish at flirting, so I was never going to start down that road until he does. I did get a kiss on the cheek at the end of the evening though!

He's going away for a few weeks now, but he said he'll text me while he's away, so it's looking good for a third date.

In other news, it's weird how many people tell you they're online dating once you tell them you are. It's like everyone has this secret, and they think they're the only one, but once one person opens up it turns out everyone's in the same boat.

Date!

I had a date! And it went really well! Hurrah!

We ate some food and drank some (non alcoholic) cocktails and talked and talked and talked. It's weird, because we seem to have nothing in common at all, and yet there wasn't a single awkward silence.

When we parted at the end of the date, he said he'd call. So I waited AN ENTIRE DAY and no phone call. Now, being unused to dating, I don't know what the rules are. If someone says they'll call, how soon do they mean? So, on the second evening after the date I took the plunge and sent him a message saying I'd like to see him again. And then spent a nervous two hours watching my phone. And then he replied! Hurrah! And he said he'd like to see me again too! Double hurrah!

So, I might be about to achieve my new year's resolution of finding 'Mr Second Date' (Mr Right seemed like a step too far...) and it's only February. Things are looking good!

Well, it's been a while!

It's been a while since I last posted on here, mostly because it's been a while since I last went on the dating site. However, I've given myself a kick up the bum, and decided I'm not going to get anywhere by sitting around waiting for someone to find me. So I'm back in the game!

But it's hard! The problem is, you can see whether your messages have been read or not. If you couldn't, it'd be fine. If you didn't get a reply you'd just think 'Well, he probably hasn't read it yet' and then you'd forget all about him anyway. But no. The site tells you whether your messages have been read or not. So you can, with a couple of clicks, see just how many guys you sent messages to who have deemed you unworthy of a reply. It's rejection, but on a massive scale.

I can't feel too bad though, I mean, I do the same thing. People message me, and I read their message and then... ignore them. Mostly, though, because I'm horribly shallow, the reason why I ignore them is their photo. Or their age, I guess. Or the fact that their profile message is weird, or missing, or makes them sound so far up themselves that they're probably suffering from vitamin D deficiency from never seeing sunlight. But probably their photo, more often than not. So if I'm being ignored for the same reason... well... woe.

So maybe I just need to be strong and not click on the 'sent messages' bit. But it's there... I don't think I can...